Being a blogger, I choose to open up parts of my life to the world. I do it to share my experiences and I do it to help others understand. I also do this so I can build an “at home” career to allow our family to escape the poverty line which we were stuck on.
I don’t want to be sick and I don’t want to be unwell but I am and so I decided a year ago to do something about it. Rather than mope around, I’m trying to do my part to make the world a better place, to help my family and help myself.
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However part of blogging and being “a brand” is that my life is on show. Do I want people to know everything about my life?. Not really. I’d prefer to sit home and not get judged but I cant because I’m attempting to blog professionally and make a batter life.
I’m even willing to share my journey with the news and magazines to help me cover costs to get the treatments I need to become a healthy mum. I don’t feel I have a choice. How else will I get money for private treatment? My crowd funding efforts have not done very well at all. I have to find a way to fund the Adrenal Pump.
Whilst most of my readers are genuine and they support me in my goals and journey to get well, a small minority of readers are trolls who send nasty messages or TOXIC PEOPLE reading so they can judge me and send me judgmental crap.
Seriously, I don’t know why they bother. They clearly are the unstable ones who don’t know how to interact normally on a social level. This week, I announced a massive decision, that I am about to have a Gastric Bypass. It’s something I’ve known about for 18 months but I was not sure whether to write about this on the blog. I finally decided I would.
I’m going to write about my weight loss journey each Wednesday and share my experiences. It will bring new readers to the blog and help others interested in my journey or those considering the life changing experience themselves to understand what it is like.
Now, I knew once I announced this operation, I would then be open to nasty comments or criticism and hoping it would not happen I have been doing my best to be well, prepare and continue blogging. The Liver Shrinking Diet is killing me. It’s really hard and making me ratty. I have no energy and i’m only on day 4. It’s really not easy.
Today I got a Toxic Message on Facebook. You know, the kind of message which clearly means something else but its not exactly worded that way.
The message said, “I’m not being nosy Angela, but is your operation on the nhs? I’m asking coz I have a relative who was hoping to have surgery on the nhs but it wasn’t approved and she is bigger than you are and to be honest you don’t look extremely big“.
Now when I get a message like this, it makes me want to tell the writer to go jump. Of course it’s being nosy and it’s not the first nosy question this woman has asked. I’m not going to justify why I am having my operation to this woman. Whether I meet strict NHS criteria or not is not her business and if my specialists and I feel this is best for me then who is she to challenge this.
I have lost 2 stone and I need to lose another 9 stone! I am morbidly obese and need to cut my weight in half and seriously, if this woman’s relative is much bigger than me and was not approved on the NHS, then it must be because she is either too unwell, does not have co-morbidities that justify the cost of an operation or because she has not lost weight on her own. You cant have a gastric bypass on the NHS unless you work hard for a year, attend classes and lose 5-10% of your body weight. It does not matter who you are, this rules apply to all.
Also I never asked to be compared to someone else and don’t appreciate it!
A few months ago the same woman wrote, “How come your getting free gifts from companies and going to ballets for free. Why are you using your illness to get special treatment?”.
I should have blocked the woman and unfriended her at this point but I didn’t . Today I did. She is now blocked for good.
I know I don’t have to justify such silly comments but, I will set the record straight.
I have never used my illness to get free gifts or free experiences. I’m a professional blogger. I work hard. I often work 50 plus hours Writing, Reviewing, Making deals and doing Social media management. Yes I’m sick and I probably should rest more but I force myself to blog so my husband and I can build a future business.
Blogging is hard work. You never get something for free. I may get a product worth £20 but I have to make a deal and exchange countless emails to come to an arrangement. I then have to take photos, write an article, upload, do SEO, Tags and scheduling. I also have to promote, take part in blog linkys and do social media management, sometimes youtube videos and editing.
I have to sacrifice my “chill out time” for blogging and work hard for the opportunities I get.
If I were getting paid by the hour I’d be bringing home a lot of money. Bloggers get paid per job and often bloggers review items in return for the product. I often review items we would not be able to afford if I was not a blogger.
And whilst I do write about my illness, it is done to raise awareness and write about my Journey as a Mother. Working with brands happens because I work hard, have built my domain authority and a following. Not because I’m ill.
Bloggers don’t get things for free. If I were able to get things for free, I’d have gotten the Adrenal Pump by now but I haven’t.
I have to work for what I want including better health, collaborate or crowd fund and even that takes hours and a lot of work.
I would say I don’t care when I get toxic messages but sometimes I do. However I wont be replying to them all. I’ll just ignore or block that person because frankly unsupportive nonsense is not worth my precious time.
About Angela Milnes
Angela Milnes is a Qualified Early Years Teacher who has specialised in teaching. She has a wealth of experience teaching young children and adults. Angela has also taught cooking classes and loves to share both family recipes and easy instant pot recipes here on The Instant Pot Table. Follow her on Pinterest!